A dull post about how everything was terrible

This really is going to be boring. It’s purely some notes about what went wrong on the Mersey Roads 2026, so I don’t forget.
It was bloody awful BTW. Reaching 400 miles was the bare minimum I was aiming for (my 2014 total was 383) but I crashed completely at around 3am and grovelled round for the remaining 10hrs. Which was utterly, utterly horrible. Finally managed 366 miles, which is crap, but also kinda not bad under the circumstances. But mostly crap.

Contact points
Saddle was fine, bar some chafing up the front. Just the usual heat & friction and nothing I’m not used to dealing with on big rides. Some chamois cream might help.
Handlebars are very stiff (aluminium) and do nothing to reduce road buzz. I rode a *lot* on the bullhorns, far more than I meant to, and my biceps were killing me. Have ordered some carbon bars which may help. Plus, I only used the bullhorns so much because I was too wrecked to use the tri-bars.

Tri-bars were a problem. The pads compressed to the thickness of a Ryvita, which gave no cushioning and meant I was rubbing on the raw velcro round the edges. Also, the bars twisted and refused to stay in position. I think those carbon bars are a minute fraction too narrow, so the mount doesn’t grip them firmly enough. Have ordered a posher integrated bullhorn & tri-bar set up, which should be less flaky. None of this was critical, but it was very irritating and distracting, which I didn’t need.

Pedals and shoes were fine.

Kit
Stan is an annoying bitch and needs a proper tune-up. His gear cable seems to stretch too easily, which mean skipping gears, ghost shifting and eventually losing the bottom half of the block*. Still ridable, but very much not ideal and extremely wearing mentally. Will see if the new bars make any difference – movement in the bar carrying the R/H shifter might be the root cause.
Stan also makes loads of noise – the same creaking as Huey. Probably rear QR. Will have to explore this, because a quiet bike is a fast bike and Stan is very, very loud.

* it’s not his gear cables. Turns out his chain is probably fake and has developed stiff links, which means pedal-pedal-CLUNK. I’ve got a new, non-fake, chain on order.

Ravemen CR1000 was brilliant. Seemed to run for longer than expected and the handlebar button was useful, although it doesn’t indicate battery level. I think it was on Low mode – which was plenty of light to ride by and runs for 6hrs. Swapped lights with plenty to spare. Good that it has a cut-off – some of the lights being used were really obnoxious.

GPS unit was faultless, but when I finished & tried to download my ride it asked to do an update. I said yes….and it wiped my ride. So I have no data at all.

Phone/RWGPS was a total fuck up. Set it to just record and plugged it in to a powerbank, but after about 9hrs it shat itself. Claimed I’d only been riding for about 5hrs, had loads of ghost trails and was babbling about power saving. I’ve never seen it do that before. Might be because it was too hot in my pocket, but that isn’t usually a problem. Lucky I had the GPS backup unit, shame it ditched my ride with the firmware update.

Still unsure about the backpack. Yes, it carries two litres of drink, but sucking from the hose is surprisingly difficult when you’re riding hard. It’s a choice of drinking or breathing. Squeezy bottles might have been easier. I didn’t really notice the weight and extra heat, but when I rode a lap of Quina Brook without the pack, it felt so nice to be free of it.

Magic hat was surprisingly comfy and unobtrusive.

Skinsuit was fine, although a shorts/jersey combination would probably have been no slower and a bit more practical.

Food

Right….
Guava blocks are great and I still don’t hate them, but I can’t live on them. Could still nibble one when everything else was made of dust and dung though.
Mini pork pies went down well to start with, but they’re probably not ideal food.
Rice cream cones were ok, but not as great as I’d hoped. Even they were a struggle once the wheels fell off.
Cheese was good, but not really ideal food.
Desperately needed a lot more carbs. A lot more.
Mocha & hot coffee was a godsend.
Mini pasties with a squirt of Primula looked….dirty, but went down quite well. Again, not really carby enough.
Apple pie was just dry – might have been better mashed in a bowl with custard.
Bananananananas went down well, for a while. They *might* have backed me up a bit (not helped by codeine tablets) which could have been a factor in not getting enough calories through.
Iced tea is still a great ride drink.
Tinned fruit was good – still not dense enough, but I could still eat it when everything else failed.
Couldn’t face pastries, bread, cake or anything dry that might involve chewing.

I definitely didn’t eat enough in the 48hrs beforehand. I wasn’t exactly nibbling on lettuce, but I should have been properly carb loading and making sure my glycogen stores were full. I suspect they weren’t and that put me on the back foot from the very start. A pre-ride pot of instant porridge wasn’t enough of a breakfast and given the 1pm start I should have woken at 9ish and started piling down the rice pudding.

What might have worked?
Biscuits dunked in coffee (really should have thought of this)
Pouches of baby food (porridge etc) but they’re too small
RIP Supernatural Fuel – their pouches would have been perfect.
Warm food would have helped – even a Pot Noodle, with the noodles smashed up to create a savoury mush. Possibly adventure food pouches, instant porridge etc.
A proper sit-down meal break after 6hrs or so might have helped – eat a lot before pushing off.
Sushi or those Aldi rice triangle things would be perfect, but very hard to find and keep cool.
Should have had a few iced coffees – easily necked, calories plus liquid.
Could try things like Huel or various breakfast drink things, but the thought makes me gag and they all have artificial fucking sweetener.
Could have eaten a lot more in the days before – pasta etc.
Custard as a way to moisten stuff and add calories to fruit?
Could (should?) have ridden audax-style and rolled into garages etc to neck cold coffee/ice cream etc.

Tactics, strategy and technique
Buggered if I know really.
Possibly set off too fast, or at least, faster than I was capable of fuelling. It felt ok, but I wasn’t getting the carbs down.
Should have ridden extra laps before stopping, especially on Quina Brook. Could probably have done the whole of the first stint on Quina without a break – which would have gained me between 12 – 24 miles.
Battlefield was horrible and I struggled to mentally adjust to pacing myself on it.
Definitely stopped more frequently than needed, although after 5am it was almost impossible not to. Firstly, I felt fucking horrible, secondly, Baggy was there with comfort and hot coffee. If she hadn’t been there I’d have packed.
Having a complete energy failure from about 3am onwards meant I rode for about 9-10hrs with my body in recovery mode. Barely able to break 100bpm, stopping too often and for too long, really, really not giving two shits on the finish loop. If (hahahaha) I’d been able to ride that out and recover, I should have hit 400. If I’d not crashed at all, and been able to maintain a steady ride, I should have managed what I was aiming for, 420-430. It’s very frustrating that I don’t have any data at all to show how far I went before it all went wrong, but I strongly believe that until about 1am, I was going well and on target for a good showing.
It’s possible that I actually ate too much in the first few hours. Completely counterintuitive, but I’m generally quite good at long rides on minimal fuel, which means I’m probably quite efficient. Packing down more than I’m used to (while riding at a higher intensity) may have just shut down my digestion completely. Just a thought and one that I need to unpick a bit further.